The Hangover

The last thing I remember from last night was dancing around a lounge to Violet by Hole and wine spilling over my glass. Suddenly I woke up at 5am, extremely uncomfortable, on some flattish type couch with my heels still on. Groan.
I made my way home, surprisingly made my way to work and now I'm dealing with several symptoms of The Hangover. You know, the usual stuff: cringy flashbacks, cellphone sent message horror, that taste in the back of your mouth that simply WILL NOT GO AWAY, an indescribably bad feeling in my stomach, eyes that look like pissholes in the snow, zero cigarettes, and an overwhelming need to be hugged.

So, I give you the Top 5 All-Time Best Ever Things for The Hangover:

1) All manner of drinks. Not just one, ALL MANNER, such as: banana milk, cup of tea, coke and mandarin mizone.
2) Pasta! I always have hungover cravings for cabonara type food, as well as meaty croquettes, creamy mayo cheeseburgers or eggs benedict. Any of these will do.
3) Television or movies that requires no thinking. Such as shortland street omnibuses, Keeping up with the Kardashians, The Hills, Bromance or, the worst ever, Denise Richards: It's complicated. Shit television is surprisingly therapeutic.
4) Hugs! Reassurance from wholesome people that everything is going to be ok.
5) Suri Cruise. Just look at her!